Article #274658

The Three Lions have not beaten a good side under their coach and no A-list players have emerged since the last World Cup

Maybe we’re just not that into us. There are times when trying to rationalise the makeup, reach and ultimate capacities of the England football team can feel a bit like living inside the frantically hyper-formalised New York dating scene of the 1990s.

Here we go again. Picking over the details. Hung up on what-ifs. Arguing about The Rules of the Game. Don’t be too available. Never text first. Do wear a wizard hat. Learn magic tricks. And be rude to people. Also, be endlessly mysterious. No, more mysterious than that. Seriously, where do you get off not having enough mystery?